“If you were to wake up one day and there was nothing for you to prove, no one for you to please and nowhere for you to be, would you be happy?”
I wrote these words 2 months ago after my 22nd birthday, pre coronavirus madness. Funny how fitting it is now. After all of the chaos and big changes I had been through throughout 2019, 2020 was feeling unsettling to me. I was used to working really hard and always being stressed out and striving for something. I was used to always having some sort of personal drama to figure out. But come 2020 I had none of that. Everything was pretty chill and good.
I'd worked really hard on becoming self employed, I'd cut ties with lots of people and was relatively at peace with myself. How unnerving?!
I was really struggling to find purpose without all of these external things ruling my existence. I wrote a few Instagram posts about having an existential crisis (lol). It was literally like being in the calm after the storm; a huge relief but also the silence was becoming quite jarring.
So I spent January and February of this year really going within and having to try and find meaning to my existence in the now. In simply existing, as my friend Courtney puts it. I began to practice gratitude and to tried to stop thinking so much into the future. My conversations with people were so much more fulfilling because I was really there; not in my head worrying about this or that. I felt like a much better friend, and danced a lot without a care. I spent lots of time in nature and found myself becoming much more comfortable with silence. I started to wake up and hear the birds sing and notice lots of the little things and really started to fully implement that less is often more. And what happened from doing all of these little practices and living in this way was that I started to notice a lot more joy arising from within me. Waking up with a huge smile on my face just at the prospect of being able to be alive. Not being happy from anything particular happening, or having anything, or doing something big. Just from being.
And this is when I knew I had a new theme for 2020. Purpose. At first I was nervous to share my new found thoughts about purpose because I thought a lot of people would be annoyed and not get it, but then Corona happened and we've all kind of been forced to go within and practice living like this. We're all being forced to change our perspectives a little and to find joy in the small things, because otherwise it would be incredibly difficult to survive throughout these times. And so to me, the theme feels very timely, and I've never been more excited for a theme for Femme, actually.
So today, the long awaited submissions are open, after much thought on my side about how to do things a bit differently from last time. Submissions this year will be done in 5 rounds.
The first 4 rounds will be for all writing content (poems, articles etc.) I will be posting 4 questions over the next 4 weeks in which you can answer and write around in whatever way you want. If you don't feel inspired by any of the questions, fear not as question 4 is a general query into Purpose, and not so much a question. So wait until that round if nothing inspires you until then. Art and photography submissions will open on week 5. I would recommend reading the questions so that art can be created around the theme.
Without further ado, here is the first question!